Thursday, February 9, 2012

How I wish.....

I had another 5 day get away in my near future.  I'm sure we could really use another vacation.  But that may have been our last one for a while again.  Hubby is laid off.  Got laid off sometime in Jan.  The end of Jan. we lost his insurance benefits and they won't be reinstated until he is called back to work.  Sure, we can purchase COBRA insurance...only his unemployment isn't enough to cover it and still pay our mortgage plus utility bills and purchase our medications.  Yes, I am retired and I have Medicare which helps.  Just not enough.  I am supposed to schedule 3 different doctor appointments for next month.  If he isn't back to work we will have some pretty hefty bills.  The doctors I am supposed to see are all specialists.  Eye doctor, kidney doctor and heart doctor.   I guess I could postpone the eye doctor if I have to. The other ones....not so much!

It's 4:03AM and I am still up.  I always have had trouble sleeping, but with so much on my mind that I try to keep hidden from hubby, it's even harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.  I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to do it.  I'm sure it's taking a toll on me and he is bound to see it sooner or later.  Maybe later rather than sooner as he's been busy with his health and trying to recover from the procedure they did last week to his back.  He says it is feeling better than it has in a long time.  Better than before he had this procedure done.  Yet I know it isn't totally better and don't expect it to ever be.  We both hope it lasts for at least 12 months.  They say it takes between 12 and 18 months for it to begin hurting again.  That is because that is how long it takes the nerves to grow back together.  Praying that it lasts at least 12 months and keeping fingers crossed that it is even longer and closer to 18 months!

It just seems like we can't get ahead....we almost make it and something happens so we just break even before we fall behind again.  It is so hard playing catch up once you get behind.  Without my paltry social security we wouldn't even break even....we would just fall behind immediately!  We are nearing that 'fall behind' time again.  I hate to take calls from creidtors and tell them we don't have the money.  Fortunately we don't have credit card debt on top of regular bills!

1 comment:

Magpie said...

I'm sure it is very disheartening! I will keep you in my prayers. I hope it lasts longer than 18 months - how about forever. Anyway, sometimes I go watch funny videos on youtube. I know - it doesn't solve your problem but it is something I do. Hugs!