Reversal?

Well it's several months since my last post and I see that I was pretty down back then. Since then they have reversed their diagnosis and are now calling it stage III kidney disease again. Guess I must have been severely dehydrated or something.......they didn't say. I do know that the blockages are still there, they have just reversed their decisions on what to call it. I had another ultra-sound done and the right kidney is not functioning at all. People live their entire life with only one kidney so as long as nothing happens to the left kidney I should be okay! I feel better about leaving this post on a brighter note than the last post!!

Helpless and Hopeless

Hopeless.....that's a strange word for me to use since I've always been the one to say that nothing is hopeless.  And yet, here I am feeling the same way I've told others not to feel.

Why you ask?  Because I found out yesterday that I have Stage IV Kidney Disease.  Now this may not seem hopeless to you, but in my case I am pretty sure I know the reason for the Kidney Disease.   It is some major blockages in the arteries that feed my kidneys.   And there is nothing they can do to alleviate this problem.  They told me before the blockages reached this point that there wasn't anything they could do!

Now I'm wondering what comes next?  How much time do I have?  What will my future hold?  Will I even have much a future?  Or will I spend my days on dialysis?

Friday I will go to the hospital for an Ultrasound on my kidneys and bladder and maybe they will tell me more the next time I go to the kidney doctor in a month.  Waiting an entire month to find out anything is going to be hard to do!

If any readers believe in God I would appreciate some prayers!  Thanks

Too Big!

The photo of the girl above is one of my grand daughters.  This is an old photo of her but she is still not much bigger around, just taller.  Recently she was with a group of her friends at a local park in the small city she lives in.  Whether they dared her or she just decided on her own to try and fit into one of the baby swings is any ones guess.  But try she did!

She got stuck!!!  I mean really stuck.....stuck enough where they had to get the Fire Department to send a crew over to cut her out.  She was pretty embarrassed by this newest escapade.  At one point she told everyone of her friends to not touch her. 

Her legs were numb from the circulation being cut off.  Even the ambulance came and put her in the back to check her over and make sure nothing was damaged from the lack of circulation (read only her brain was suffering)!  Even though she doesn't weigh 100 pounds yet she is taller than me which is most likely the reason she got stuck!  To add insult to injury, she now is responsible for paying a fine of $80.  to replace the cost of the swing and probably wages for the firemen.

Ahhhh.......the craiziness of teenagers...gotta love 'em!

Warmer weather.....

.....has arrived and I hope it stays.  The prediction for tomorrow is temps about the same, mid 60's but with rain and thunderstorms possible.  I don't mind the rain except that one of my dogs is afraid of the thunder.  And she knows it is coming as soon as it begins to rain hard.  That's when she decides she wants to hide in a quiet room with me next to her.  She is 9 and a half years old now and I seriously doubt that she will be outgrowing this fear anytime soon!  Her name is Prancer and here is a photo of her.       

She is a great dog and is good with all the grand kids. If she doesn't want to be bothered she will just find a place to hide from them.

Cocoa is also good with kids and since she still thinks she is a puppy (she's no longer considered a pup at 4 years old) she doesn't know when to quit playing. The grand kids usually tire of play before she does! Below is a photo of Cocoa when she was 3. She has a very shiny coat!

Both of the dogs love the outside weather we have today. Tom has taken them for a walk now, but earlier we sat outside and watched them play.

Going back outside to enjoy more of the nice weather!  If you are experiencing some great weather I hope you get a chance to get out and enjoy it too!

lions and lambs

Well here it is March 2012.   Today is Tom's birthday.  He is 52.....doesn't seem possible.  But then I will be 66 this year and that doesn't seem possible either.  We are getting older........I  hate to admit it.  There are still things I want to see and do before I am old.  A lot of those things won't happen because I am already too old and my health won't allow it.  Same with Tom.  Life goes on!

And that brings us to March.  A month when spring is marked on the calendar.  It begins on the 20th this year.  I wonder what kind of weather we will have by then.  So far this month our weather is very strange..........warm with tornado warnings for a large portion of the country one day and flood advisories the next and high wind warnings and sporadic snow showers and winter storm warnings.  The weather will do what it wants so we might as well get use to it!  But Spring is on it's way and will get here just as it has in the past.

We  have a lot of birthdays this month.....Tom's today, a friend of mine was Sat., Tom's aunt has a birthday on the 6th, his dad's birthday would have been the 8th, Tom's nephew is the 8th, Amber's is the 17th;  she will turn 17 this year...her golden birthday, 17 on the 17th; my cousin Deb and Tom's sister-in-law both on the 27th.  Next month isn't a whole lot better...we have 6 birthdays plus our 22nd wedding anniversary on the 21st.

But back to the weather ~~~~~I believe that March is coming in like a lion and will go out like a lamb this year.  At least that is what I am hoping for.  We are getting snow now and probably have a couple inches out there already and it keeps on falling down.  Yesterday was a terribly windy day so I would almost bet on it going out like a lamb!

How I wish.....

I had another 5 day get away in my near future.  I'm sure we could really use another vacation.  But that may have been our last one for a while again.  Hubby is laid off.  Got laid off sometime in Jan.  The end of Jan. we lost his insurance benefits and they won't be reinstated until he is called back to work.  Sure, we can purchase COBRA insurance...only his unemployment isn't enough to cover it and still pay our mortgage plus utility bills and purchase our medications.  Yes, I am retired and I have Medicare which helps.  Just not enough.  I am supposed to schedule 3 different doctor appointments for next month.  If he isn't back to work we will have some pretty hefty bills.  The doctors I am supposed to see are all specialists.  Eye doctor, kidney doctor and heart doctor.   I guess I could postpone the eye doctor if I have to. The other ones....not so much!

It's 4:03AM and I am still up.  I always have had trouble sleeping, but with so much on my mind that I try to keep hidden from hubby, it's even harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.  I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to do it.  I'm sure it's taking a toll on me and he is bound to see it sooner or later.  Maybe later rather than sooner as he's been busy with his health and trying to recover from the procedure they did last week to his back.  He says it is feeling better than it has in a long time.  Better than before he had this procedure done.  Yet I know it isn't totally better and don't expect it to ever be.  We both hope it lasts for at least 12 months.  They say it takes between 12 and 18 months for it to begin hurting again.  That is because that is how long it takes the nerves to grow back together.  Praying that it lasts at least 12 months and keeping fingers crossed that it is even longer and closer to 18 months!

It just seems like we can't get ahead....we almost make it and something happens so we just break even before we fall behind again.  It is so hard playing catch up once you get behind.  Without my paltry social security we wouldn't even break even....we would just fall behind immediately!  We are nearing that 'fall behind' time again.  I hate to take calls from creidtors and tell them we don't have the money.  Fortunately we don't have credit card debt on top of regular bills!

Unusual weather....

...for January!  We are experiencing some lovely weather for January.   Temp's have been in the upper 30's to 40º for the last few days and today is expected to reach the same.  Not that I am complaining!  There are some who are....those would be the snowmobilers.....they are waiting for the big snow to arrive so they can get out and ride their machines.  Not me....I much prefer to sit in the house in front of a warm fire with a good book and a hot chocolate when the weather is cold and snowy!  The snowmobilers won't have long to wait!  Wednesday night or early Thursday morning the weather is supposed to turn nasty and the meteorologists say there is a BIG storm moving in!  In the meantime, we will have 40º and above weather for the next two days!

Wednesday I go to the cardiologist office for a follow up on last weeks stay in the hospital.  I have to arrive at 7:40AM......I hate having to get up and ready first thing in the morning instead of drinking my coffee at a leisurely pace and waking up slowly.

I need to get some stamina back.....since I was at the hospital I feel as if I have lost some strength and some ability to do everything I want to do.

Tomorrow is Tom's mom appointment at Spectrum downtown to either have a stent placed or open heart surgery.  They won't know until the do the heart cath and see exactly what and where the blockages are.  I certainly hope that she will be okay.