Health and Vacation

Well, I am recovering from pnumonia....again! Second time this year. Also recovering from an Endarterectomy surgery on the left side of my neck. That is pretty much healed up now. They have me scheduled for a parathyroid scan the beginning of September. Seems like my body is betraying me! Am planning on going on a cruise with my sisters the end of September so am hoping for complete recovery before then with nothing else going wrong that can't wait until we get back. We are taking the Carribean Princess to Mexico and will stop and see some of the Mayan ruins. Sounds like so much fun. Just the three of us visiting and laughing and just having a great time lounging around the different pools on the ship and walking around, maybe take in a spa or some of the night life. I understand there is a night theater where we can watch whatever movie is playing at the time. Also have our first great-grandchild due the 26th of this month. Very exciting thinking about being a great-grandma. We know it's a boy and Momma and Daddy will be living here when baby is born and will be bringing him home here. Can't wait to hold him in my arms and cuddle with him!

Reversal?

Well it's several months since my last post and I see that I was pretty down back then. Since then they have reversed their diagnosis and are now calling it stage III kidney disease again. Guess I must have been severely dehydrated or something.......they didn't say. I do know that the blockages are still there, they have just reversed their decisions on what to call it. I had another ultra-sound done and the right kidney is not functioning at all. People live their entire life with only one kidney so as long as nothing happens to the left kidney I should be okay! I feel better about leaving this post on a brighter note than the last post!!

Helpless and Hopeless

Hopeless.....that's a strange word for me to use since I've always been the one to say that nothing is hopeless.  And yet, here I am feeling the same way I've told others not to feel.

Why you ask?  Because I found out yesterday that I have Stage IV Kidney Disease.  Now this may not seem hopeless to you, but in my case I am pretty sure I know the reason for the Kidney Disease.   It is some major blockages in the arteries that feed my kidneys.   And there is nothing they can do to alleviate this problem.  They told me before the blockages reached this point that there wasn't anything they could do!

Now I'm wondering what comes next?  How much time do I have?  What will my future hold?  Will I even have much a future?  Or will I spend my days on dialysis?

Friday I will go to the hospital for an Ultrasound on my kidneys and bladder and maybe they will tell me more the next time I go to the kidney doctor in a month.  Waiting an entire month to find out anything is going to be hard to do!

If any readers believe in God I would appreciate some prayers!  Thanks

Too Big!

The photo of the girl above is one of my grand daughters.  This is an old photo of her but she is still not much bigger around, just taller.  Recently she was with a group of her friends at a local park in the small city she lives in.  Whether they dared her or she just decided on her own to try and fit into one of the baby swings is any ones guess.  But try she did!

She got stuck!!!  I mean really stuck.....stuck enough where they had to get the Fire Department to send a crew over to cut her out.  She was pretty embarrassed by this newest escapade.  At one point she told everyone of her friends to not touch her. 

Her legs were numb from the circulation being cut off.  Even the ambulance came and put her in the back to check her over and make sure nothing was damaged from the lack of circulation (read only her brain was suffering)!  Even though she doesn't weigh 100 pounds yet she is taller than me which is most likely the reason she got stuck!  To add insult to injury, she now is responsible for paying a fine of $80.  to replace the cost of the swing and probably wages for the firemen.

Ahhhh.......the craiziness of teenagers...gotta love 'em!

Warmer weather.....

.....has arrived and I hope it stays.  The prediction for tomorrow is temps about the same, mid 60's but with rain and thunderstorms possible.  I don't mind the rain except that one of my dogs is afraid of the thunder.  And she knows it is coming as soon as it begins to rain hard.  That's when she decides she wants to hide in a quiet room with me next to her.  She is 9 and a half years old now and I seriously doubt that she will be outgrowing this fear anytime soon!  Her name is Prancer and here is a photo of her.       

She is a great dog and is good with all the grand kids. If she doesn't want to be bothered she will just find a place to hide from them.

Cocoa is also good with kids and since she still thinks she is a puppy (she's no longer considered a pup at 4 years old) she doesn't know when to quit playing. The grand kids usually tire of play before she does! Below is a photo of Cocoa when she was 3. She has a very shiny coat!

Both of the dogs love the outside weather we have today. Tom has taken them for a walk now, but earlier we sat outside and watched them play.

Going back outside to enjoy more of the nice weather!  If you are experiencing some great weather I hope you get a chance to get out and enjoy it too!

lions and lambs

Well here it is March 2012.   Today is Tom's birthday.  He is 52.....doesn't seem possible.  But then I will be 66 this year and that doesn't seem possible either.  We are getting older........I  hate to admit it.  There are still things I want to see and do before I am old.  A lot of those things won't happen because I am already too old and my health won't allow it.  Same with Tom.  Life goes on!

And that brings us to March.  A month when spring is marked on the calendar.  It begins on the 20th this year.  I wonder what kind of weather we will have by then.  So far this month our weather is very strange..........warm with tornado warnings for a large portion of the country one day and flood advisories the next and high wind warnings and sporadic snow showers and winter storm warnings.  The weather will do what it wants so we might as well get use to it!  But Spring is on it's way and will get here just as it has in the past.

We  have a lot of birthdays this month.....Tom's today, a friend of mine was Sat., Tom's aunt has a birthday on the 6th, his dad's birthday would have been the 8th, Tom's nephew is the 8th, Amber's is the 17th;  she will turn 17 this year...her golden birthday, 17 on the 17th; my cousin Deb and Tom's sister-in-law both on the 27th.  Next month isn't a whole lot better...we have 6 birthdays plus our 22nd wedding anniversary on the 21st.

But back to the weather ~~~~~I believe that March is coming in like a lion and will go out like a lamb this year.  At least that is what I am hoping for.  We are getting snow now and probably have a couple inches out there already and it keeps on falling down.  Yesterday was a terribly windy day so I would almost bet on it going out like a lamb!

How I wish.....

I had another 5 day get away in my near future.  I'm sure we could really use another vacation.  But that may have been our last one for a while again.  Hubby is laid off.  Got laid off sometime in Jan.  The end of Jan. we lost his insurance benefits and they won't be reinstated until he is called back to work.  Sure, we can purchase COBRA insurance...only his unemployment isn't enough to cover it and still pay our mortgage plus utility bills and purchase our medications.  Yes, I am retired and I have Medicare which helps.  Just not enough.  I am supposed to schedule 3 different doctor appointments for next month.  If he isn't back to work we will have some pretty hefty bills.  The doctors I am supposed to see are all specialists.  Eye doctor, kidney doctor and heart doctor.   I guess I could postpone the eye doctor if I have to. The other ones....not so much!

It's 4:03AM and I am still up.  I always have had trouble sleeping, but with so much on my mind that I try to keep hidden from hubby, it's even harder to fall asleep and stay asleep.  I'm not sure how much longer I will be able to do it.  I'm sure it's taking a toll on me and he is bound to see it sooner or later.  Maybe later rather than sooner as he's been busy with his health and trying to recover from the procedure they did last week to his back.  He says it is feeling better than it has in a long time.  Better than before he had this procedure done.  Yet I know it isn't totally better and don't expect it to ever be.  We both hope it lasts for at least 12 months.  They say it takes between 12 and 18 months for it to begin hurting again.  That is because that is how long it takes the nerves to grow back together.  Praying that it lasts at least 12 months and keeping fingers crossed that it is even longer and closer to 18 months!

It just seems like we can't get ahead....we almost make it and something happens so we just break even before we fall behind again.  It is so hard playing catch up once you get behind.  Without my paltry social security we wouldn't even break even....we would just fall behind immediately!  We are nearing that 'fall behind' time again.  I hate to take calls from creidtors and tell them we don't have the money.  Fortunately we don't have credit card debt on top of regular bills!

Unusual weather....

...for January!  We are experiencing some lovely weather for January.   Temp's have been in the upper 30's to 40º for the last few days and today is expected to reach the same.  Not that I am complaining!  There are some who are....those would be the snowmobilers.....they are waiting for the big snow to arrive so they can get out and ride their machines.  Not me....I much prefer to sit in the house in front of a warm fire with a good book and a hot chocolate when the weather is cold and snowy!  The snowmobilers won't have long to wait!  Wednesday night or early Thursday morning the weather is supposed to turn nasty and the meteorologists say there is a BIG storm moving in!  In the meantime, we will have 40º and above weather for the next two days!

Wednesday I go to the cardiologist office for a follow up on last weeks stay in the hospital.  I have to arrive at 7:40AM......I hate having to get up and ready first thing in the morning instead of drinking my coffee at a leisurely pace and waking up slowly.

I need to get some stamina back.....since I was at the hospital I feel as if I have lost some strength and some ability to do everything I want to do.

Tomorrow is Tom's mom appointment at Spectrum downtown to either have a stent placed or open heart surgery.  They won't know until the do the heart cath and see exactly what and where the blockages are.  I certainly hope that she will be okay.

2012 ~ a new beginning.........

and yet the same old stuff.  Tom is going to be laid off beginning Monday, Jan 9th.  I guess it is the company's way of saying "Happy New Year"!  Every year the lay offs happen.  The only thing different this time is that the Union made some compromises this past summer and they weren't very good for the employees.  The major one is that they lose their health coverage at the end of the month that they were laid off in unless they are called back before then.  So if you are an employee with ongoing and long term health issues such as heart disease, diabetes, kidney disease, etc. you are basically screwed and any medications you may need to keep you alive will have to be paid for out of your own pocket.  Which will be tough to do with less income due to being laid off!

And all because companies have become to greedy in their quest to gain the almighty dollar!  At one time, I believed the Unions were a good thing.  But right about not.....not so much!  I was under the impression that Unions were supposed to protect and help the employees, not the employer!  Was I wrong in my beliefs and thought processes?  Seems like I was!

November 9, 2011

Well it is now November.  It has been a few months since our get away to the upper peninsula.  Bumpa is getting ready to go up for two weeks for his annual deer hunting excursion.  I'm glad he gets to go.  He works hard all year long and really deserves his time away.  I miss  him when he is gone.  The nights and days seem to drag on forever, but then they do anyway since he is on second shift.  The one thing I don't like about his hunting season is the fact that it falls during the time my first husband, Dave passed away on Nov. 15, 1975.  Some days just stick in my memory no matter how much I try and forget them.  This and August 1st, Dave's birthday, are days that are etched in my mind.

Well, actually there are two things I don't like about this time of year.  One being the above mentioned and the second being that he thinks he needs to volunteer for all the overtime he can get.  Which means that the week preceding his departure is filled with extra hours at work and extra hours spent getting ready, packing and planning that we end up having no time together at all.  So it seems as if he is really gone longer than the two weeks he is actually gone.  I asked him how much money he made an hour when he isn't on overtime.  I was willing to buy an hour of his time just so I could spend some time with him.  And as I write, I think of more things I don't like about this time of year.

I don't like that it will soon be cold, gray and snowy or icy most of the time.  Nor do I like the fact that I will be stuck inside more often than not.  I absolutely hate driving in crappy weather ever since I rolled our Jeep over back in January of 1990.  Not only do I hate driving in crappy weather, I refuse to drive in it.  I am so afraid of rolling over again.  I know, I have a 4wheel drive vehicle with a longer wheel base than the Jeep had, but I am still terrified.  I drove in it a couple years ago when I was working more part-time than I am now.  Didn't like it then and know I won't like it this winter either.  I already told them not to call me if the weather is bad....because I won't drive in it anymore.  For heavens sake I am 65 years old and if I don't feel safe enough to drive in bad weather I simply won't do it.

Autumn in SW Michigan...

....is beginning to show some color.  The cool nights with the warm days, highs in the upper 70's, have begun to turn the trees in our neighborhood to bright yellows, orange and red.  They are so pretty to look out when the morning sun is shining on them as I drink my coffee.  It's a great way to start the day with the splash of color making everything seem brighter.  Even my mood.  Makes me want to get up and move much faster than when it is gray, cold and rainy. 

Days like this make me realize just how lucky we are to see the different seasons that Michigan offers its residents.  Some people prefer a much warmer climate year round and that's fine for them, but I wouldn't want to miss out on the autumn colors that GOD has taken his paint brush to and created a brilliant masterpiece to look at.

Before I know it, the winter season with it's cold wind and biting temperatures plus the icy and snowy roads will be here.  Then what will I do.  Even though I would like to be like the robin in the poem and hide my head under something, I will be forced to deal with it.  And I will in my own way.  Yet I wouldn't want to miss the beauty that winter offers us either......the sparkling snow fresh fallen while the moon shines and makes it glisten. 

Then spring will return with the rainy season and still cold temperatures but I know that the warmth and sun and wonderful smells won't be far behind!

Our five day get away!

What a wonderful time we had.  We went to Michigan's Upper Peninsula and took Amber with us.  She hadn't been there in quite a few years when she traveled with us where ever we went!  She is still a good rider and conversationalist and at 16 can get very moody!  This trip we didn't see much of that moodiness or the teenage attitude that can rise up to cause people around her grief.

We took her to many of the same places we did when she was 3. She didn't remember them of course but thought the sights were lovely and beautiful.  She was quite impressed with Lake Superior, however she didn't care much for it's temperature!  She took lots of pictures, got a hooded sweatshirt from Mackinaw City, sampled some fudge and got a ring at the gift shop at the top of Brock Mt.

We throughly enjoyed her company and were glad she was able to spend time with us.  Since she moved back with her mother when she was 5 and has visited on weekends and summer, spring and Christmas breaks we haven't seen her as much as we would like.  Of course, I'm sure our son, her Daddy, feels the same way. 

The little things in life!

Like getting your braces off and only have to wear a retainer to sleep and can take it out to eat.........ah! Amber says it's the best! Or the meteorologists predicting a big snowfall and we only get a few flakes falling down while the sun is shining. My kind of days!

Had to call my PCP again last night.............more of those dang muscle spasms that come on so very quickly only refuse to leave as quickly as they come. His office called in another RX (I could open my own pharmacy)and mixed with the other meds I told them I had already taken they said to try this and if it didn't work and the pain was too much to go to the closest ER. Nice........I can have the big bills and he gets to go home to his family! I never know when one will strike me, but when they do, it's all over but the shouting. They usually happen in the middle of the night and I have to wake Tom up after I've tried everything the Doctor has told me to do and nothing is even touching the pain levels. So we have to get up and make a trip to the ER. They generally give me a shot that hurts almost as much as the spasms and send me on my way. The last few times I have just called my PCP and told him what was going on and he offered his advice freely over the phone. A much cheaper route to go!

Stormy in Michigan.....

temp of 16º with a wind chill of 3º, snowy and blowing snow.   It's been colder but not this year.  Have the tree up and most of the decorations and about half the shopping done.  Just need to finish the shopping, wrap the presents, mail out Christmas cards, clean the house, bake lots of cookies and plan the Christmas evening buffet menu.  That won't be too hard, they always want the same things...........tradition I guess.  We will have 4 of our children with us this year.  The fifth one came up for Thanksgiving from Kentucky and we do need to share her with her family down there too.

Don't have the stocking hung by the chimney with care yet.........that's the last thing we do!  Only 2 stockings though, Mema(Grandma) and BumpaGrandpa)!  The other kids all have stockings at their own houses now.  Our youngest son has a blended family and we will be sadly missing the two oldest from that group but hope they have a Merry Christmas and we will catch up with them later.  We will probably have approximately 22 people in all here.  Good thing we have a big house!

Hubby gets to go back on first shift beginning next Mon. the 20th.  We are very excited and thank the Lord for that.  We don't know for how long, but hope it lasts a long, long time!

Merry Christmas to all my friends and a Happy New Year.  I know it's early, but just in case I don't get back here before then.  Love you all!

Well, my knee surgery is done.  It was on Oct. 19th and the orthopedic surgeon repaired a tear in the ligament, a tear in the meniscus and a tear in the cartilage.  Hopefully when I see him next on Dec. 3rd, it will as good as it can be.  Of course I did have a fall on it on Oct. 31.  I'm hoping I didn't do any damage to the repairs he made.  It is still sore and somewhat swollen and still is painful, but I know as we age we don't heal as fast or as well as when we were a few years younger. 

We were all gathered at Tom's Uncle Jim's apartment as the time was near for his passing into eternal life.  He had throat cancer that spread and he did pass away peacefully around 9:30PM.  I am so glad he is out of pain and suffering, yet Tom and I spent a lot of time with him, visiting and helping to care for him.  He didn't want to go to the Veterans Home so we promised him as long as it was possible for us and one of his sisters to care for him at his apartment we would do everything we could to keep him home.  Fortunately we were able to do so!  It was a very nice Military funeral as he spent several years in the U.S Air Force during the VietNam era.  Most of us did fine until the sister that cared for him was presented the flag and then we lost it.  But we are thankful he no longer has to suffer and he has gone to meet his Savior and his Mom, Dad and 3 brothers who passed away before him.

He was very generous to us.  He left us his 2003 Envoy, knowing that Tom's truck needs lots of repairs and his car isn't running the greatest either.  Some family members are upset with us for receiving this gift, but I think it was Uncle Jim's way of thanking us for all we did for him.  We didn't expect it but are extremely grateful for his generosity toward us.  God has granted him the peace he had been seeking for so long.  Thanks be to God!

Septemter 25, 2010

This is a photo of the newlyweds with all their children!  Everyone is so happy for them and the kids are all happy too!  I'm sure they will encounter some rough times ahead, but every family does, whether blended or not!  The kids range in age from the oldest 15, and the youngest just 2.  They will be very busy raising all of them............they have two teenage daughters, a middle school age son, an elementary school age son and daughter and the 'baby' who is just  2!  Boy am I glad it isn't me starting all over again with small ones.  I simply don't have the energy or the patience for it anymore!

It was an outdoor wedding and although it didn't rain on us, it was very chilly and all the bridesmaids and bride and both teenage daughters wore sundresses.  We were planning for nicer weather.  I nor the bride's Mom ever thought we would live to see the day either of them would marry!  We are all so happy for them and you can tell that they are happy just by looking at their faces.  I'm not sure my son will stop grinning yet this year!  Even the children are all happy.  I know they will have some problems ~ you can not blend a family without some encounters, no matter how much the 'Brady Bunch' made it look.  But my son came from a blended family and watched us make it work, so he has some expeience and is a step ahead of the game in that department. 

God was at this wedding and I told them they need to keep God at the center of their newoly blended family and they will be fine............no matter what happens!

Feeling down today............can't put my finger on it unless it is the fact that hubby has been working  a alot of overtime and there is never enough time for us to do anything fun.  Not like there is much we can do anyway.  My health issues don't allow us to do much that doesn't entail sitting down....................it gets old hat and mighty depressing after several months.  I'm hanging in ther although I don't know how much longer I can or why I even want to.  Life isn't a lot of fun when there isn't much you can do to participate in it!  I try and put a smile on my face and pretend that everything is fine even when it isn't.  I don't know how much longer I can do it, but I have to at least keep it up too get through my sons upcoming wedding on Sept. 25!  I am really happy for him and his bride and I am really looking forward to this.  I never thought I would live to see this day, but am awfully glad I did.  I wish his birth Dad was here to enjoy it with us.  Okay, I have to get off this subject or I will end up crying here and now and won't be able to see what else I am typing.   They are blending a family and I know from experience that it can be a difficult task at best.  I hope he has learned from our mistakes  and doesn't have to learn those lessons on his own!  They have 6 children between them and they need to love all of them the same and as if they were their very own.  She has 2, he has 3, and they have one together.  Amazingly enough they all get along and actually like each other, so that is half the battle and they are close enough in age to play and talk together and form special bonds that will last them a lifetime!!!!

Hot and humid!

Well, here it is, one more hot and humid day here. We have had more hot, humid days this summer than we had all of last summer and we are expecting our hottest day of the year Friday with a temp of 93º and a heat index of 103º! Sounds like a day to stay indoors and read and out of the heat and humidity if at all possible. It will be for me! My poor hubby will have to go to work in a factory that is always at least 20 degrees hotter inside than it is outside. I'm glad I'm a woman and am not required to support a family financially as most men are!

Yesterday I had 3 grandchildren here, aging in age from 15 to 4. The 15 year old was here to help me with the other two...........her cousins. I took Elijah and Rebecca swimming to my daughters house for a while and they were so tired that Rebecca, who is the 4 year old, fell asleep on the way here and we only live like 6 minutes away! After her daddy came for them we had supper and she wanted to go outside and play on the swingset. We went out for a while but the skeeters were eating us up so we came back in. She was a little upset about having to come in so soon and I told her that if the mosquitoes were biting me that badly that they surely would start eating her up in a minute. She looked up at me, and in all seriousness said "No they won't Mema......their tummys are very little so by the time they are done eating you, they will be too full for me." I love the things little kids say.................still, we came in!

Doctors

When I went to my appointment with the Vascular Surgeon, I also found out that the cardiologist who has been treating me for the past 18 years did NOT retire as we were told.  He was with West Michigan Heart and they broke off into two different groups.  We were told he was staying with Metro Heart and Vascular.  Not so.  They then told us he was retiring.  Not so, either.  He decided to stay with West Michigan Heart.  I think that was a rather dirty trick to play on his patients and on the Doctor.  When we discovered this, we requested all our records and medical histories be sent to him at West Michigan Heart.  I mean after 18 years with one doctor, you develop a closeness with them and they with you.  They become almost like family and we really felt that this particular doctor had our best interest at heart.  This was not the feeling we got while remaining with Metro Heart and Vascular.  I have confidence that now we will get the best care possible and perhaps they can do something to help me that the other group could not.  Keeping my fingers crossed!

Another rescheduling!

I am pretty upset today.  I am still stewing over my heart doctor appointment on Monday.  I was scheduled for a angiogram and stenting of some major blockages on the 26th of this month and made sure with the doctor's assistant that all was in order.  Even had my blood work done.

Only to come home and find a letter in the mail explaining to me that the doctor won't be in the office at all that day and they had to reschedule until June 4th.  Okay, I know it's only a week and 2 days later than the original schedule date but this is the third time they have done this to me this year!  To them it is just another surgery/procedure, but to me it is a very important step to being able to get on with my life.  The blockage are in my legs and there is one in the main aorta just above where it splits to feed the legs and one to my right kidney that is almost totally blocked.  I had a 99% blockage in one of the bypasses from open heart surgery 8 years ago and they were able to stent that a couple of weeks ago and I am feeling better.  But at this point, with the other blockages, my kidney function is too low, and I am barely able to walk 100 yards without needing to sit down and rest because my calf's hurt so bad I could just cry!  And to top it all off, they are not sure if they can even take care of the blockages in the lower legs this time or if it will have to wait for a later date because they don't think my body will tolerate the contrast dye they have to use being I have an allergy to it!  I am so frustrated at the present time, and yet I do understand that the doctors have a very stressful job and perhaps need to have some time off, if that is the case.  After all, it is a holiday weekend.............Memorial Day.  Well, I guess later will have to work because it can't be done sooner.  I guess I will just have to accept the fact that it is what it is and go from there.